There was a wreck, and I didn’t know what to do


Welcome back everyone.  Sorry for missing the day without notice yesterday, but I would rather take the day off than schlock out something horrible.  I have also noticed that our facebook community tends to be a heck of a lot quieter on the weekend, so I may switch to a five day blog format, and see how that goes.  That would allow me to map out my topics a little better, and also leave the weekends free for any book writing exploits.

However, Jenn and I had a fairly horrific night last night, and it has me thinking about a good many things right now.

Jenn did a very nice thing for me last night since I was so stressed out.  Jenn took me out for ice cream, which is absolutely wonderful.  Doubly wonderful since Jenn can’t eat dairy.  For once the dairy queen actually got my order right too, which is amazing.  And no, my order isn’t crazy, they just found some way to mess up a cookie dough blizzard, every damn time.  So I was horking down my ice-cream, and we got to a red light.  I was looking down into my cup for another spoonful (I wasn’t driving) and I hear a loud impact, and look up just in time to see two bodies laying on the ground after a motorcycle had impacted directly into a mustang.

This is actually the fourth horrific accident I have seen here in Tucson.  It is really hard to drive through this city every day and feel safe.  I don’t trust these people at all.  According the Jenn, the mustang was at a complete stop, and she saw the motorcycle coming through the bush.  That means the driver either didn’t look and blew through, or saw them coming and didn’t realize he couldn’t make it.  All in all, its completely the mustang’s fault.  Which is not what his lieing butt was trying to tell the cops, but fortunately two witnesses that saw the whole thing stuck around to give the cops their story.

It’s amazing the order in which your brain takes in details in a crisis.  I saw the two bodies on the ground first.  My eyes drifted to the left and saw the mangled car.  Then I saw that it was a motorcycle and knew it was going to be bad.  Lastly, I could see a huge swath of blood on the mustang’s hood.  All through it, I could hear a woman screaming.

The moment is burned into my mind forever.  Even a night removed, I can still see every detail.  Even worse from my perspective as a wanna be prepper, was that in the moment of crisis, I didn’t know what to do.

Jenn heard the screaming, and immediately ran to comfort the woman.  Another gentlemen grabbed a flashlight from his car, and ran out to direct traffic so no one else got hurt.  A swarm of other people ran out to keep either person from moving, and I saw one guy holding the driver’s head steady so he didn’t move around a lot and hurt himself further.

All I knew how to do was sit in my car and call 911.  Which I did.

In this case, it worked out OK.  There were a bunch of people who were able to contribute, and together they crowd sourced a plan.  We were in a dense suburban environment, which means EMS was on site in no time.  In fact, the border patrol rolled past to help direct traffic within 60 seconds.  The victims were in good hands almost immediately.

Still though.  What if this had been in a rural setting?  What if I was on a mountain road and saw something like this happen?  Would I be able to provide any kind of help or care to someone that was hurt, or would I freeze up?

My prepping mentor has a saying, in a crisis, you revert to your lowest level of training.  Unfortunately, I have no training, in anything.  I have been a pampered suburban slug my entire life, and given what I want to do in my life, it actually shames me.  My lowest level of training is to wait for a grown up to show up and solve my problem.  That’s downright humiliating.

firstaidSo I would suggest, for those of you out there that haven’t, go get at least some basic first aid training.  No one expects you to be a complete paramedic, but in a crisis, getting care immediately can make a huge difference.  In a crisis situation, you will not be thinking rationally.  Just reading about how to do something doesn’t meant that you will be able to execute it.  There is a difference between arm chair knowledge, and actual good instruction from a professional.

Unfortunately, I did not have that.  So in my shame, I got to stand by helplessly while a fellow human being was hurt badly, and I could do nothing for them.  Learn from my shame.  Take the time, and get the training.  You never know when you will need it.  We don’t get to pick our disasters, and you might be the only thing standing between your fellow human being and death.  Be ready to answer the call, because every citizen should be a sentinel.


Day 53: Recovery and Recharging

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Well, I have to say, my timing is certainly terrible.  I managed to keep my posts going all through the run up to the goat homecoming, and then I let them drop right as the goats get here.  So I wasn’t able to share in all of the fun with you guys out there.  Now the situation has changed, and I have lots of pictures.

For some reason on Thursday morning something inside my soul let loose with an almost audible snap.  I don’t think I have ever had a panic attack before in my life, but I sure as hell did that morning.  I could barely function for close to an hour.  If you have ever had someone say the walls are closing in, and you have never had a panic attack, you have no idea what they are talking about.  That is the single most humbling, embarrassing, powerful burst of emotion you can feel in your life.  I have no idea if I was just pushing myself too hard or what, but I was not in a happy place.  So I decided to slack off and take it easy for a couple of days and allow myself a chance to recover.  I am hoping to be able to dive into my blog again, as I do enjoy writing it, but I never want to be in that emotional state again, so we will see.

Pepperoncini and Verbena:

These were our two cute little Nigerian Dwarf Goats and Jenn (Hi Jenn).  The all black one standing up was the girl, Verbena, and the white frosted one laying down is Pepperoncini.  Having never had goats before, I would describe goats as cats, but with enough brains to get into real trouble.  They know how to listen, they just choose not to.  These damn goats would actually climb up into your lap to sit there and get petted.  They were absolutely adorable.

Here is little Peppers engaged in his absolute favorite activity, getting curry combed by Jenn.

This is Peppers all tired out from his second favorite activity, eating twigs off of my wood pile.  Damn goats.  Also, watching goats lay down is absolutely adorable.  They just hunker down on their front knees and its really cute.

I would say my goat feeder worked out just fine.  They both enjoyed the crud out of their alfalfa.

Here is little Peppers with my dog Sasha.  Not exactly best friends yet, but at least they accepted each other.  I don’t have one of Beans with the dogs, and thats crucial to the story.

Note all through this post I have referred to goats in the past tense.  Unfortunately, we had to take little Pepperoncini and Verbena back to the farm where we got them.  They were absolutely adorable to have around, and I loved their cuteness and their antics.  Unfortunately, sometimes you have to do whats best for all of the animals, and not you.  Our dogs have to come first, and Verbena just could not accept them.  She was unable to bond with them, and was terrible afraid.  She actually head-butted Sasha on the shoulder one night, so of course my coward was now terrified as well.  We was constantly tense and on watch with them.  Since we refused to restrict our dogs, and having a terrified goat is cruel, we took them home.

Verbena was just way too bonded to her herd, Peppers would have loved to stay with us.  Taking them back home was very sad.  Beans ran off with the other goats and didn’t look back, she was happier there.  Peppers just stayed by the fence waiting for us to come in and play with him. He was happier with us.  So its sad, but it was best for everyone.

We are not giving up on the Nigerian Dwarf Goats though.  The farm has two little baby goats for us, also a boy and a girl.  We are going to pick them up soon, after I finish goat proofing the yard.  Since they are smaller, we think they will have an easier time with the dogs.  Also, since they are young, the haven’t been part of the big herd yet, so they shouldn’t miss them when they come here.  We are pretty sure they will think my dog Maggie is their new goat mommy, which will thrill Maggie to no end.  I will post pics as soon as I have some.

Having two full size Nigerian Dwarf Goats was helpful though.  I know what I have to do to proof the yard for them.  Ask my poor little Trovita Orange Tree how good I am at building goat fences.  Lets just say version 2.o will be better.  I will outline my improvements tomorrow.

Paleo Portion:

I made the mistake of falling off my paleo wagon for a few days, and boy am I paying for it.  I think the gluten was giving me a pain in my stomach, but its hard to separate the food from my stress level.  Jenn made tasty rosemary chicken and yellow rice last night.  It was really good.  We got more awesome food from the market yesterday too.  So hopefully I will stay on track, and feel better with a reduced stress load for a few days.

Day 49: Final Preps and New Directions

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Well, after tons of work, it seemed like they would never get here, but yesterday was the final day before little goaty homecoming.  I got the house built, sans a single pallet.  I got the feeder constructed, and a nice bale of alfalfa loaded up and ready to go.  After a crap ton of prep work, we got the yard cleaned up for them.  We are almost ready to go.

The only thing I still had to do was remove the last of the damn Oleander tree.  That stupid thing actually began to grow back once I hacked off a big chunk of it.  So despite having a pile of Oleander branches that is about 4 feet tall, I now have vigorous green growth coming up in new green shoots.  Not quite sure how to kill the damn thing and keep it down.  I think tomorrow I am going to have to bury it completely and wait for it to decompose.  In theory, once its covered with dirt, it will start to break down, just like a hugel bed.  It will break down even faster if I plant something on top of it.  So maybe a rose or blackberry bush that will grow quickly just to help add some shade in that corner of the yard.  The first part will be to cover it, and we can plan from there.

Look.  Sawzall.  Good for more than just cutting down my kitchen wall.

I got to sit for about two hours in a car dealership today, watching them try to fix what Tucson Dodge swore wasn’t actually a function of the vehicle.  Its amazing how some people can just straight up lie to you.  We have a GMC Envoy, which has a tail gate that is supposed to both swing open like a normal SUV, and lay flat like a truck.  Well, we took it to Tucson Dodge, who we purchased it from, and they broke it.  Not only did it no longer lay flat, they swore up and down that it wasn’t actually supposed to even do it.  So I don’t know what my range of readership is here, but if you ever have a chance to do business with Tucson Dodge, run away as fast as you can.

On the plus side, while waiting on my vehicle, I managed to roll the dice a little bit.  I can’t really go into specifics, for a variety of reasons, but it is beginning to feel like my life is once again slotting into the perfect groove.  Here is hoping that I am right, but we will see either way.

Paleo Portion:



4 eggs

Jenn was nice enough to get up and going even faster than me today, and had a tasty breakfast waiting for me.  Nice to keep on rolling and not be hungry all the time.


I spent this in the dealership


2 Country Style pork ribs

Squash and Ricotta

Homemade Custard

We made the pork ribs in the toaster oven, and they turned out really nice.  They were even more tender than the last time we made these.  We mixed the squash and ricotta together in the pan, and the ricotta almost melted into a white sauce.  It was actually really good with a little Parmesan sprinkled on top.

Weight: 233.  Looks like I might be headed for a new low.  We shall see.

Day 48: Goat Feeders and Garages


Yesterday was every bit as exhausting and at some points frustrating as I had been afraid it would be.  I did get some forward progress on my To-Do lists, but not as much as I had hoped.  Even with a major setback, I would still say my project turned out really well.  We also got a chance to check out an awesome local business for the first time.  Its one that we have been saying we need to go see for years, and we finally did it.

So yesterday morning, eventually, we headed out to run our errands.  I dropped off two more boxes of books at goodwill, trimming my remainder pile down even further.  We picked up some puppy pads for the bottom of the chick cage, as well as some new chick food.  We also got a goat water dish for our Nigerian Dwarf Goats.  Its made from recycled tired, which means it should be able to stand up to goat abuse.

Then on the way home, we stopped off at Old Town Feed and Supply.  Its a cute little feed store just off of the road on my commute every day.  They have little bunnies and chickens every spring, and we have been saying we should go for literally the entire time we have lived here in Tucson.  Yesterday, we finally did.  This place was awesome.  Anything you needed for horses, chickens, wild birds or pet dogs, they had there.  On top of that, I now get to kick myself for not stopping sooner, since their prices were amazing.  They had some little baby turkeys in a bin up front, man they are adorable.  We got some chewies for the dogs, a quail block, and a nice bail of alfalfa for the goats.

It would be at this point that the day turned south a little.  Our Envoy has a tailgate that likes to not work ever since the thumb-fingered baboons at Tucson Dodge decided that it didn’t really need to do a function it was supposed to do.  So they took it apart, “repaired it”, charged us lots of money, and it hasn’t worked right since.  So next time you need a car, trust a homeless guy with an AK before you trust these idiots.  So on the way home, with a bale of alfalfa in the back, our tailgate decides it doesn’t want to close.  So we ride the last few miles home with a swinging gate.  We finally patched it closed, and now I get to spend a large part of my day in the waiting area at a car dealership.  I look forward to that joy.  Here is a shot of the ghetto work, just for kicks.

Once I got home though, I was able to build an awesome goat feeder for our Nigerian Dwarf Goats.  Now there is nothing to stop us from bringing them home on Wednesday, assuming we get the tailgate fixed.

This little guy is about 5 feet high, and holds a standard bale of alfalfa hay nicely.  I made it entirely from reclaimed wood from our old garden.  It holds the food up off the ground so it stays dry, also it healthy for the little goats to reach up for their food.  It helps keep them from getting gas, and also from wasting their hay all over the ground.  I can’t wait to see them get into feeder related shenanigans.

Paleo portion:
I really didn’t eat much yesterday, so I won’t waste time on it. I have noticed on days that I do lots of work, I just don’t feel like eating. I did have half of a killer watermelon though. It was tasty.

Day 47: Back to the Grindstone

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No rest for the wicked, I had to hoof on back to work today.  My team did a great job while I was away, so I have the stress relief of being able to no worry about my store while I am away.  The sales continued as needed, and the store looked great.  Best of all, none of them can read this, so you know its legit.

I didn’t have much chance to work on any tribal projects today with work and all.  Sunday’s feel like the worst days, since even though they are short, they never feel like I have time at home around them.  Jenn did make me a totally paleo awesome dinner while I was at work, which was awesome.  I will detail that below.

Freezing Vegetables:

I mentioned yesterday our need to store some of the 10,000 pounds of peppers that we got.  I glossed over the process, but I figured I would spell it out, as it can be very useful if you like to use seasonal produce.  All you have to do is buy lots of something when its in season, and you can store it until later.  Frozen isn’t quite as good as fresh, but its a hell of a lot better than store bought frozen.

To freeze your own veggies so that there is minimal loss in flavor, just follow along.  First prep your veggies.  Cut them into desired portion sizes, and remove all seeds.  For the peppers Jenn basically cut them in half, but you can size according to your future needs.  Blanch them quickly by dropping them in boiling water for just a moment or two, then cool them down in an ice bath to stop them form continuing to cook.  This helps to keep the flavor in.  It also coats them in water so they freeze faster.  Then lay them out in a single layer on a metal sheet, and put in the freezer until frozen.  Once frozen, just dump into a freezer bag, and viola.  Home made frozen veggies.

To Do List:

My To Do List keeps growing.  With my chickens growing so fast, I have to get their coop done soon.  We will also be bringing our goats home on Wednesday, so I have to build their feeder.  I plan on building that tomorrow, I will post some pictures when I am done.

Paleo Portion:


Coffee with cream and sugar and Kahlua.

We were really busy doing stuff, so I didn’t get to eat.  I do want to know though, how did it take me this long to realize Kahlua is AWESOME in coffee.


1 bag cashews

1 Odwalla Juice

Since I am doofus and forgot my HUGE bag of almonds at home, I had to improvise.


Huge portion Paleo Lasagna

Jenn made awesome Paleo Lasagna.  It was super yummy, and it was great to come home from work to.  I will put the recipe below, go make it.  Trust me.  Obviously with not being able to eat starches, pasta is forbidden, with this you don’t even miss it.

Yellow Squash

Pablano Peppers

Ricotta Cheese

Home Made Tomato sauce

Ground Beef

Colby Jack

Like any lasagna, its all about layers.  Slice up the squash, and salt it to draw out the water.  It might take awhile, but it will keep the end result from falling to pieces.  Layer the pan as follows, yellow squash on the bottom, meat and sauce next, ricotta cheese, pablano peppers then coat the top with colby jack.  It awesome, and you won’t miss the pasta.

Weight: 235.  Lost the 5 Florida pounds in 3 days.


Day 46: Recharging and Refilling

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Well, today was my first full day home from Florida, where I ran smack dab into the downside of your body acclimating really well to a new time zone.  Combining that with the effects of gluten toxicity purging from my body, and I just felt crappy.  It was amazing to me on one level how quickly all of my efforts were undone.  I hope that it won’t take me as long this time to purge the residue this time, but at least in the short run, its not less violent.  Also, amazing was how quickly I regained a soda addiction.  For the most part, I never really had one, certainly compared to a lot of people.  Yet when you think you don’t have one, go drink pop for a week and tell me how it works out when it comes time to stop.  I barely drank pop before, and I would love to have one now.  So yeah, its addictive.

So although I didn’t get the large number of things done that I wanted to, in fact I spent most of the day watching “Food Network Star” and playing Max Payne 3, I did get to see how far everything has come since I left.  Our little Trovita Orange Tree is coming along nicely.  I am not 100% sure he has put on any new leaves, but he for sure has stretched up to the sun.  The mesquite tree I planted has most certainly sprouted some new leaves, about 10 if we counted correct.  You think of trees taking forever to grow, and sometimes its till amazing that it doesn’t take really that long.  Lastly, my little chickens are much less little now.  They are growing like gangbusters.  I really hope I feel better on Monday, as I will have to build them a coop whether I feel well or not.

Here are the little ladies all playing around in their cage, first thing in the morning.

Here is a baby Welsummer artfully posing for us.  As you can see, they have about tripled in size in the last week or so.

Refilling the Kitchen:

The house was starting to look a little bare, so we went to Market on the Move to refill on veggies, and Sam’s Club for some dairy needs.  The haul from Market was tremendous.  Normally I list off what we got just for reference purposes, but this week I can’t, I am not sure I can count that high.  I know we got some tasty pablano peppers, some yellow banana peppers, tons of green peppers, tons of yellow squash, piles of tomatoes and 4 honeydew.  Essentially, way more product than we can use in a week.  Jenn had the awesome idea to store the peppers.  This will give us some peppers to use in the summer months when there is a market only every two weeks.  We might even end canning some of the small peppers and tomato sauce.

Went to Sam’s club as well for our dairy needs, and got some tasty stuff there.  I bring this up only because, it was the first trip where the only thing we impulsed was a watermelon.  Nuts to you brightly colored displays of useless crap.  We also might have hit on an idea for our chicken coop.  We might be able to use a big 150 gallon deck container instead of building the actual coop.  Will have to see how much the cost is versus the labor involved.

Paleo Portion:


Skipped due to market on the move.  Had some coffee when we got back


We reheated some leftover burgers from the night before.  Very good curry burgers.  If you mix some curry paste in your ground beef with some cumin, its amazing.


For dinner we made some super tasty veggie egg scramble with bacon.  Just cut up 4 strips of bacon and brown with onions.  Cut up 4 tomatoes and 2 pablano peppers, throw those in to cook once onions are brown.  Once those are cooked, mix in about 12 eggs.  The bacon fat keeps it from sticking, and gives it great flavor.  Was very tasty.  Honeydew for dessert.

Weight: 240

I gained 5 pounds in five days.  Damn you Florida.  Two years in a row you make me fat.  At least this year I can fix it.

Day 45: Home at Last

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Well, as you may have guessed from the title, I am finally home from my trip.  I have to say, there really is no place like home.  The entire time I was away, I couldn’t wait to get back.  I missed my beautiful wife.  I missed my obnoxious puppies.  I missed my cute little chickens.  I missed my yard.  Lastly, I missed my mattress.  Its so bad, I have actually concluded that I am allergic to the outside world.  Not to go into any kind of details, but something in my hotel room was causing my skin to break out everywhere.  It was absolutely terrible.

Travel actually ended up working out pretty well compared to some past trips of mine.  Flying through Phoenix was a much better way for me to go.  Also, I flew on an Airbus aircraft instead of the traditional Boeing.  Some advice there great American aircraft company, if you want to keep functioning, build your aircraft bigger.  I wouldn’t say I had a ton of space, but I certainly had more room on that plane than I have on any others in a long time.

I look forward to being able to restart my paleo lifestyle now that I am at home.  As I mentioned yesterday, it was exceedingly hard to stick to a paleo diet in a buffet setting.  There were really very few things I could eat that weren’t based entirely or partly on carbs.  It was like watching the American diet in microcosm.  Everything was bread and carbs.  Sure there was some meat, but even it found a way to be coated in carbs either as breading or as a glaze.  There was no escaping it.  Grab your bread, your breaded meat, and your potatoes.  Here is some veggies, but they are clearly optional.  Oh and for dessert, carbs and sugar.  It was terrible.

I did my absolute best to avoid disaster, and in the week I was gone, I gained 5 pounds.  Thats a pound a day.  I can already feel it all starting to detox out of my system.  I am tired, sore, and just in general don’t feel like my new paleo self.  Its such a stretch to remember that I used to feel like this all the time.  I am such a happier person now, its amazing how much of that depends on food.  We truly are what we eat.  No wonder we often feel like garbage.


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